First time online dating

Match.com

It’s like Christmas to have all these men to choose from it’s so exciting I spent weeks looking through all these men and found a gorgeous man that lived in San Francisco and started chatting with him, of course I was on vacation so we didn’t speak we were only emailing.

I was very naïve and didn’t know what to look for ‘yet’ ! When I returned from vacation, he was supposed to come down and take me to dinner. He disappeared, this was my first experience of being catfished. I guess you can say he didn’t get any money and it was so exciting to feel alive again.

My next online dating site was Plenty of Fish

This is where I met a real doozy. He was French and acted humble and sweet and I was not ready to date. My mother had just died I had just left my 13 year marriage and my oldest daughter had refused to live with me and refused to see me so I was suffering three great losses I was in no position to date but in my pain and loss I wanted so much to be loved and to connect.

I share these not as excuses but as explanations as to my inability to see the writing on the wall and not being aware of the bad choices I was making. My pain blinded me.

I began dating this man who seemed nice & as time went on I discovered that he needed a lot of help & he had a lot of secrets.

The problem with beginning relationships is you have to be honest & open. I am. He was deceitful & hid his darkness. It took me longer to unwind the relationship then it did to get in it.

He was a very scary and toxic man in fact I have been to the courts, the police, & had him 5150ed because he tried to take his own life in my home.

This was one of the scariest things to witness with my children sleeping in the home.

I learned a great deal about our legal system & how to take care of myself.

This was many years ago. I took some time understandably I was a bit shell shocked.

Reason season or lifetime

So if I’m to be brutally honest and I’m always honest. He was great in bed. I had been sexually repressed in my marriage & this crazy man really was my first adult sexual relationship.

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Author: Therebythegrace

I’m a domestic goddess 😂 . I’m a mother of 3 teenagers. Love fiercely & loyal . Enjoy lives simple pleasures. Sunshine sea air and beach cruises are a few of my favorite things to do with my kids and alone. What I value most is my sobriety and second are my children. Gratitude is a tool I use daily as is meditation and prayer. My friends are few but more precious then money. I know a lot of people yet few people know me intimately.

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